Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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