My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
you had me at cake vodka
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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