That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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