Non-Jews are for practice
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Randomize
