I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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