I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
