i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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