I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
