I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
