just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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