If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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