good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
