Hey man sorry I got all grabby
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
