um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
