Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
