i don't like sucking hair
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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