The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
This is the high leading the old right now
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
