Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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