I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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