is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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