I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
