Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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