Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
