Dude my mom stole all your condoms
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
