It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Randomize
