K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
