We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
