God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
