your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
