and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize