Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Randomize