I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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