it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
