Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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