They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
