Sry I called you an 8
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
