Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
