He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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