He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
