She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
are you so shy because you have an std?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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