Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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