Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
