I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
