So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
