Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
