I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
