we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
