Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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