Me too!
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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