Dual....:-)
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
