Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
one might say we're banned from that church
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
