something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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