He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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