I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
