So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
