Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
