Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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