I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize