Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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