Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
Randomize